After a short and busy summer we spent a few weeks at Nanny Nicola's house whilst Lee was working in Castle Hill and Hull Royal Infirmary. It was a lot of fun being near family. I had an enjoyable night out with my mum and my gorgeous aunties - yes mum you are way gorgeous too :o) Great Nan and Great Grampy took Finn and Rosa to play in the park and despite my nerves they were very well behaved. (the kids were good too). Lee has vowed never to step foot in Hull Royal again - dump doesn't quite do it justice - oh dear. Now we are back in London and Lee is in his final year - yes can you believe it, his final year of being a student!!! And boy are we both ready for it to be over already... we're massively sleep deprived, running out of financial resources, growing 2 insanely demanding toddlers (and 1 angel baby), with no family and few friends near. Yes, it's going to be a uphill ride and we're running on fumes - bring it on!
Finn has recently started Nursery School and loves it so much. (Although this picture is of him in nursery at Church.) When I ask him if he missed me, "No!", "Did you miss Daddy?" he hesitated... but still "No", "Did you miss Rosa?" "Yes!" And Rosa is certainly missing him. My initial worry of Finn settling in proved vain, but what I hadn't anticipated was how devastated Rosa would be. She sobs and screams and fights and cries as we leave - "I want to go a nursey school", it breaks my heart! I've been spending so much energy trying to keep her happy when Finn is gone that I'm not yet enjoying the break. She is definitely missing her play buddy. We have spent hours in the park, read a thousand stories, been shopping together, made a hundred things out of play dough, painted various pink flowers - that eventually get smeared with this nasty murky brown colour and when every pretty picture is erased she says "All gone now mummy. Again". This morning we sat and made kites because Finn made one in nursery - only I couldn't get it to fly - I think we'll need Daddy's help for this on Saturday. Finn has only had a few sessions!
A word about Finn.
Finn has been my little bundle of joy and of course trouble from day one. Which really I should have anticipated after the carnage he left in the labour suite! Man, he makes me smile. As a newborn he latched onto his Daddy so quickly (possibly because I had to be wheeled off to surgery and wasn't there for his first few precious hours). He always settled in Daddy's arms and rarely in mine. 3years 5months later it hasn't changed. He has started to like everything Lee likes, he copies which breakfast cereal Daddy has, he tries to Dance like Daddy, he calls for Daddy in the night, he asks for Daddy when he's hurt, "Daddy do you like it?" if Lee says yes, then "I like it too Daddy." I don't think there ever was, or will be, more of a Daddy's boy. Sometimes it has been difficult for me because I felt like he loves Daddy more, I know it's not really the case , but still it can be hard when I love him so much and not feel much in return. I thought kids this age loved freely - apparently not. But in those moments I realise how much I love his Daddy too. I hope he will always want to copy him and be like him. I can't think of a better role model for my little boy than his Dad. My heart aches when I wonder what he's getting up to at nursery school. But he is learning so much and making friends and coming home so happy. 
It's difficult to put into words the feelings a parent has for a child. From the moment they enter your life love overpowers everything you are and were and makes you want to be so much more for them. They consume your heart and mind entirely. I am so blessed and happy to have three beautiful, lively, quirky and very funny children and I'm slowing learning how to be a Mum.
Finn has been my little bundle of joy and of course trouble from day one. Which really I should have anticipated after the carnage he left in the labour suite! Man, he makes me smile. As a newborn he latched onto his Daddy so quickly (possibly because I had to be wheeled off to surgery and wasn't there for his first few precious hours). He always settled in Daddy's arms and rarely in mine. 3years 5months later it hasn't changed. He has started to like everything Lee likes, he copies which breakfast cereal Daddy has, he tries to Dance like Daddy, he calls for Daddy in the night, he asks for Daddy when he's hurt, "Daddy do you like it?" if Lee says yes, then "I like it too Daddy." I don't think there ever was, or will be, more of a Daddy's boy. Sometimes it has been difficult for me because I felt like he loves Daddy more, I know it's not really the case , but still it can be hard when I love him so much and not feel much in return. I thought kids this age loved freely - apparently not. But in those moments I realise how much I love his Daddy too. I hope he will always want to copy him and be like him. I can't think of a better role model for my little boy than his Dad. My heart aches when I wonder what he's getting up to at nursery school. But he is learning so much and making friends and coming home so happy. 
It's difficult to put into words the feelings a parent has for a child. From the moment they enter your life love overpowers everything you are and were and makes you want to be so much more for them. They consume your heart and mind entirely. I am so blessed and happy to have three beautiful, lively, quirky and very funny children and I'm slowing learning how to be a Mum.
Zach is way bigger than this now, and a lot less alien looking! More on him next time.
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